Do you find yourself getting in arguments and fights more often? Do you consider yourself as one with a short fuse? If you answer “yes” to both questions, you might be going through some sort of anger management issues. While anger is a normal, often healthy emotion, it can compromise your relationships with yourself and others if it becomes a chronic problem.

Understanding Anger

Anger in itself is neither good or bad, but it is absolutely normal and even healthy to feel angry when you’ve been wronged or mistreated. The feeling itself is not wrong — it’s what you do and how you act upon the onset of anger that spells the difference. When anger starts to harm you and the people around you, it’s when it becomes a problem.

When one’s got a hot temper, they tend to feel like it’s out of their hands to control they’re anger and they could not care less whether they hurt someone along the way because of their outbursts. However, the truth is that you are supposed to have more control over your anger and never vice versa. You can actually learn how to express your anger without hurting others and once you do, you will realize that you will not only feel better, but you’ll also be able to keep your relationships intact.

How to Resolve Anger Issues

Many think that venting is the only healthy way to express anger and that people around them are just being overly sensitive, that they are entitled to be understood all the time. But here’s the truth: out-of-control anger hurts you physically and mentally, and it affects your relationships and even your career. To stop these negative effects from affecting you, here are ways on how to resolve anger problems.

Recognize the reason behind your anger – The first step to learning how to control anger is to know why you are angry in the first place. The reason for your short temper may be traced back to your childhood. If you grew up in a family where there are a lot of arguing, fighting, and screaming, you may take the habit with you as you grow older. Traumatic events may lead to high levels of stress and depression, making you more susceptible to anger.

Notice your anger triggers and warning signs – If you know yourself enough to know that you have the tendency to get angry, you need to be aware of what triggers your outbursts and check for warning signs. There are actually physical signs that you can look out for so controlling your anger will be easier. These include: having trouble concentrating, pounding heart, breathing faster, clenching your hands or jaw, headaches, tensing your shoulders, pacing or needing to walk around, and feeling knots in your stomach, among others.

Meanwhile, some of the triggers often revolve around negative thinking patterns such as generalizing or thinking that no one understands you; focusing on the “shoulds” and “musts”; blaming others for something wrong that’s recently happened, and more.

Learn ways to relax and cool down — After knowing your triggers and warning signs, it will be easier to control your anger. You can do this more effectively by learning of ways to cold own and relax before anger spins you out of control. The best way to do this is by taking deep breaths, exercising, stretching or massaging tension areas, using your senses to divert your attention, and (you might find this funny) slowly counting to ten and repeating until you are calm.

Find healthier ways to express your anger — If you find the issue too big for you to just let it slip, you can use ways to express your anger without being too hurtful. If you find yourself getting angry over something so petty, pinpoint what you’re really angry about — do you feel that your partner no longer cares for you as much or are you just too exhausted and you just need to feel some tender loving and concern? Talk to someone about how you’re really feeling. It will also help to take at least five minutes and face the situation with a cooler head after. Lastly, always fight fair. Do not settle in the past, be willing to forgive, and know when to let go of things.

 

When to Seek Professional Help?

If you are still finding it difficult to control your anger, you can always seek professional help. There are centers and therapists that offer anger management programs tailored to your needs. This way, you can learn more tailored ways to keep calm during tense events.

 

References:

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/anger_management_control_tips_techniques.htm

http://www.angermanagementtips.com/tips.htm

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